honestly i dont go on tumblr enough to remember whoes following me and whoes not lol so if anyone has intrest just keep reading the rest cause we might have similar thoughts, and why the hell not.
spread the word ya bish.
id have to say summer of last year i grew out of that “kid” mentality and its kind of freakin me out cause i realize and notice more things that are happening in my life. it was a gradual process, and my brain hurts. its strange being a human and not even realizing how we go thru these every day things and just pass them by like a slice of pizza not really caring who sees tomato sauce on ur face. im only 20 and life has flew by so damn fast i dont know where to look for the next step. i have no idea where im gunna be going in the future and i dont mind cause im gunna live each day to its fullest and make the best of everything and meet all the people i can to hear and expirance them and who they are to make them feel special to. so simple.
iv had people call me a bitch, mean and hard shelled.i think in the time we are in now.i dont mind being called a bitch as much because theres so many people in this world to look out for those weak people to control or just to see what they can get from them. i dont wanna be either of those, i wanna help and make the world grow, people grow. ima bitch cause i dont like what ur saying or cause im standing up for someone or my opnion alone? no. i wish people had like a 3 sec access code to see what other people were thinking in a situation, of course u would have to get permission from them first! at work im sure it sounds like i talk shit or get mad real fast. im just looking out for the guests and the well being of my peers. i promise. i always have the best intentions always i cant stress if enough. my heart and mind are so open and loving, i wish people wouldnt be so ignorant and turned off to my compassion. of course theres some people i dont care for but im still gunna be nice to them or just not talk to them. so simple.
on facebook i was talking about how i put myself in a hole and i cant get out.its true. as much as i try to swim and keep a float (as in getting a new job, changing friends, changing my attitude, looking for more jobs, save money, keeping healthy) nothing seems to be working, im struggling to keep up.BUTTTT FEEECKK IMA KEEP IT UP CAUSE I HAVE GOOD KARMA AND IMA WORK MY DAMN ASS OFFF TO MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT.simple as that.
btw drake is my life. lmao.
i want Byron more then anything in the world.but why am i the bad guy in this? i have feelings to and at the time with all the shits that has been on my mind (money, work, studying, military, future, getting pregnant, insecurties, etc) i didnt know what to do and it sucks but the easiest thing i thought to do was to break up. but i didnt even want to break up i only wanted a break thatssss my maiinn damn point. i didnt cheat i didnt do anything bad he didnt do anything either i just asked for a break cause i was freakin out in my head and i was scared. fuck but im a horrible person and a bitch (as i was telling you earlier) but i dont get why. yeah maybe i should have ask for a break in person over text like i did but whats done is done. and honestly i dont think i should be punished for it. what about my feelings? simple.
like i said im living each day and iv gone more craaaaay then my normal but it feels so good and i wish Byron was here with me to live my life as his queen and him as my king. iv asked some new friends of mine what they thought of me, like on a serious level.i promise im not making this up i dont have time to lie, but i mostly hear things like im real (not a bitch) i tell it how it is, iv asked them ” do u think im trashy or like shutty cause i chill with guys alot?” they tell me no “ur a chill chick that likes un typical stuff that girls normally like” and like im down to chill with the guys and be gross and swagg and check out girls with other guys lol ..i mean i hope what they say is true and they not just tellin me what i wanna hear. im sure they not. but i keep it cool with my guy freinds cause since i am a girl and not a slut or gosspiy shit lol you know? so simple.
well i gotta go ill be back for more ranting later, i love the library :)